Tips for Handling Detractors
I'm listing this under the "For Writers" section of the blog, but actually this is a good reminder for all of us, not just authors!
There will always be someone who doesn't get your vibe, doesn't feel your books, or straight up doesn't like you.
And the more successful become, the more of those people will come out of the woodwork to proactively to inform you when they disagree with a story choice, or career decision you've made.
Here's now to deal ...
4 Tips for Handling Your Detractors Like a Professional
1. Be prepared for the haters/complainers.
Actively remind yourself that 5%, 10%, even 50% of people out there might not be your people. Taking away the element of surprise also takes away some of the punch when you get one of those messages that seems to have no purpose other than to rain on your parade.
2. Don't engage.
It is so tempting to defend yourself, to point out where your critics are in the wrong. Don't. Entering the conversation will only feed them, and give them more to work with. Think of someone's little jab as a flame in the desert. A stoked flame will continue to grow. An ignored flame will eventually snuff out, as though it never existed.
Silence is the strongest message. Silence tells those people who complain that your latest book is Kindle only, or not in paperback, or how you didn't personally reply to their review, or how you don't care about quality because you used such-and-such word wrong in Chapter Twelve, or how you're "selfish" by charging money for your books, or how they're never going to read you again because your last hero was a jerk, that you're too busy creating and living to deal with their negativity.
3. Mentally wish them luck in finding what they're looking for, and mean it.
The more positive thoughts you put out into the world, the more positivity will come back to you. A little woo-woo, but I really believe it.
4. Move on
Remember, you are not for everyone, and neither am I. Give your emotional energy to those that are your people, not the ones who aren't!